So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
