I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
