working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
