You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
