just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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