Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
