Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize