You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize