I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
