you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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