Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
