so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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