she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
