I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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