I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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