I wish I only lived at night.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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