I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
