its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
