Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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