i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
