my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
