is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
