okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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