whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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