your thong is hanging out like whoa
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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