Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I had to cum in my sink.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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