dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
