god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he wants to bone in the snuggie
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
