Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
