Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
