guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
