That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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