It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
