so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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