i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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