drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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