Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We using my standards or yours?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad? (443): We using my standards or yours? http://tfl.nu/agac
  Replies (7) Good night (3050) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex? http://tfl.nu/05zs
  Replies (27) Good night (6117) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1
  Replies (8) Good night (734) Bad night (1934)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f
  Replies (20) Good night (6043) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey. http://tfl.nu/4gnd
  Replies (13) Good night (4420) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth? http://tfl.nu/ukqr
  Replies (22) Good night (5200) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee. http://tfl.nu/sup3
  Replies (16) Good night (4889) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage. http://tfl.nu/1an1
  Replies (3) Good night (2306) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on... http://tfl.nu/x8fm
  Replies (7) Good night (2561) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything http://tfl.nu/u65o
  Replies (11) Good night (1362) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm.. http://tfl.nu/glda
  Replies (12) Good night (1321) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex. http://tfl.nu/o4rj
  Replies (11) Good night (1328) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Finding that toy duck there was weird right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again." (1-541): Finding that toy duck there was weird right? http://tfl.nu/x1mm
  Replies (0) Good night (722) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life. http://tfl.nu/97ba
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started". http://tfl.nu/xqcg
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (240)

Randomize