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• (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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• (714): View more from California

  I think I am morally bankrupt

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.

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  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

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• (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

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• (585): View more from New York

  i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold

  (1-585): View more from New York

  hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yesterday you said I was the best.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??

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