also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
