How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.