i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
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I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.