Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.