2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
