If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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