Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
