I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Houston, we have a blender
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
