So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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