You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
