some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
