once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
