i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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