God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
