Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
