The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
