Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
