Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
