i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
