Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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