College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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