My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
