what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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