Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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