It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
