somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
