After last night, I could never be a politician.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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