Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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