I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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