What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Can I color on your dick again?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
