HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
